I feel like shit tonight || 2003-10-23 at 12:39 a.m.
I have so much to say, that I can't think of where to start. Needless to say, I will leave stuff out. And it'll probably be the interesting things.First off, this bitch cashier stole my water. How are you going to steal someone's WATER?! She hella took the receipt off of it, and put her own on, and it wasn't even the same item! She hella tore the date off too, so it was probably an old one.
Ugh.
Anyway.
I am still trying to figure out what is wrong with me. The younger security guard that keeps coming after me is stepping up his advances. He actually asked me if he could give me a ride home so that we could have a good time.
I seriously feel like crying right now. Why do these men keep harassing me? Do they think I'm such a goddamned nice person that I'll let them get away with whatever they want to do to me? I am sick of it. Sick sick sick. The worst part is that it's doing serious permanent psychological damage. I don't think I'll ever be able to have a serious relationship with a man. I mean, it's not just one or two guys, it's a whole fucking lot. Like the scary, scary serial rapist looking, creepy vibe giving son of my old piano teacher shops at my store. I don't think he remembers me at all, and the other day he ramdomly stopped me and said, "You really look like a princess" all creepily.
.: sigh :.
And I know people are going to read this and think, "Oh, they're just coming on to her. Guys do that." but you don't know. You're not there when it happens. This is different. There's guys coming onto me, and then there's this. They are not the same.
The sad part is, good guys like Josh have to suffer because I'm so fucked up from all of this.
God. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!
...
I don't think I'll write any more tonight.