The Receiving End || 2004-01-10 at 9:04 p.m.
When you're a young teen you get these crazy little crushes that make you do and say silly things that you would never do and say other wise. You don't think of consequences or reprecussions... All that matters is the here and now, the present tense, and the fact that you're in the company of the person you're swooning over. You ask questions and set up scenarios that'll make the person say something positive about you... Perhaps get them to say that they're "wild about you", even if they are just joking around...It's like a drug that makes your head feel light, and you can't help but grin from ear to ear. After spending an evening in their company, you promptly rush home and blog what happened, practically squealing with delight. You can think of nothing else other than what happened and what could happen...
But you don't ever really think of yourself being on the receiving end of one of these crushes...
Last night I was. It was strange, very strange, and it brought up a lot of memories of being a young queer girl dealing with a crush. I began to think of the first girl I ever told that I had a crush on her... And about various male crushes I'd had where I'd be simply whirling after a similar encounter...
It was.... different.
Not bad...
Just... weird... I mean... I think of the people I crushed on like that, and it's like... wow... Someone likes me like that?
Hard to fathom.