When I Grow Up P1V1 || 2004-03-12 at 12:35 a.m.
Title: When I Grow UpVersion: Part One / Version One
About: Another DA posting, written back in February. It's from Studd, and it's the scene when Reggie comes out to Spazz. That's about it.
When we were alone in the room, she turned to me and smiled weakly. She apologized softly and took a sip of water from the plastic yellow hospital cup. We sat in silence for quite some time before she finally spoke.
"You probably want to know what the hell is wrong with me." She smiled again, and I saw a curious mix of fear, sorrow, and unease in her face. I said nothing in response, not only because I was still wondering what was going on inside her, but because I figured she needed to talk uninterrupted.
She was silent for a while, but once she began her story, I became lost in her words.
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My parents were hippies turned business men. They had me later in life than most couples start bearing children, but that was okay. They were more understanding than any young parents ever could be....
And even as their older, buttoned-down selves, they still dreamed of peace, love, harmony, and understanding. These were the things they believed in, and these were the things they taught me.
Some days, all we would do was talk about dreams, whether they took place while we were asleep or awake. They would tell me I could do anything, be anything, so long as I dreamed it.
And whether I was asleep or awake, I dreamt of one thing and one thing only.
My parents always knew something was different about me. We used to play fantasy games together like dress up, and I always wore a dress. When I was little, they didn't think too much about it, but as I grew older and kept insisting upon being the mom during a game of house, they began to worry a little.
Of course, they never told me it was bad or wrong. They never let me know I was a freak. (The kids at school did enough of that.) They believed that anying that "took place in the dream world" was sacred and not to be squashed. These dreams, however, came more and more into conflict with the kids at school as the years grew and gender seperation became more and more pronounced.
That was when they took me to a shrink.
Normally, they were against therapy, against someone else interpreting your thoughts, your dreams, and your actions, but they would do anything for me and saw no other alternative that wouldn't change just who I was.
They never wanted me to be like everyone else, of course. They only wanted me to be happy, which at times seemed so impossible to me.....
To be continued....
(The next bit is a bit iffy, so I'm working on rewriting that.)